Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
