I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it because I queefed?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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