I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
