is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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