I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
