Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
