Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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