I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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