What did we do last night that was yellow?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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