What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
