they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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