Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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