i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
