Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
