So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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