My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
