so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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