is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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