is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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