dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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