I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
