the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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