Plan B is the new Plan A
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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