Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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