We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
