How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
