Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
