It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
