Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
