Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
