Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
