Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
