I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
