at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
