At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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