just tell him i said nine months
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
