Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I checked into jail on foursquare
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
