Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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