KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
