Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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