Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
