He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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