the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
