the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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