I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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