we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
