Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
