Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i've created a new STD.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
