The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
