You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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