Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
