AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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