Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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